I still haven't had a lot of time to reflect, but there is one that stands out in my mind and I thought it would be helpful for me to actually type it out.
It was the late summer of 1999 and I was about to start my freshman year of college at Ohio University. My grandpa (Logan Reif) had cancer. Knowing that he didn't have much time left, my parents and I booked a flight out to Sun City, Arizona (about 3 1/2 hours from where we now live in Tucson) to see him in person. One of the mornings we were there my grandpa told me he had something very important I needed to tell the family. My parents and I found a tape recorder, and brought paper and a pen so that we could make sure to write down whatever it was that was so important.
Later that afternoon my grandpa looked straight in my eyes, pointed at me, and said, "Vanessa, this is what you need to tell the family. You need to tell them that Jesus said, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father but through me.'"
It was a powerful moment.
I had enough of a church background to know that what he had just told me was somewhere in the Bible (I found out it was Jon 14:6 when I looked it up), but I had no idea why I was the one he asked to relay the message. My parents were both in the room, and we have since had many conversations about that moment (how he specifically singled me out from them to share this message & wondering why).
My grandparents (Logan & Helen Reif) were Christians, but since then I have found out that both of them at times questioned their faith. I'm sure they had many of the same questions I have when looking at our world and seeing the suffering, pain, poverty (sometimes knowing that all of this is a result of a fallen/sinful world doesn't seem satisfactory enough) and I know my grandma in particular really struggled with her faith when she battled cancer (she had never smoked, had alcohol, been overweight or done really anything to abuse her body, and I know that cancer seemed unfair to her), but honestly I don't know much about their faith journey. My uncles have different knowledge of their parents' faith journey and have their own opinions about what I "must have heard incorrectly" about what he wanted me to tell them (a long story not worth explaining on here).
What do I know about my grandpa based on what he told me? I know that no matter what doubts or questions he had during his lifetime, that when he faced death he gained a sense of clarity. This clarity made him realize that he needed to make sure this message got out to his family. There was a, I don't even know the word, maybe "urgency" about the way he wanted to make sure our family knew this.
I brought a pen and paper to make sure I'd remember what he wanted me to tell the family, but I don't need a pen and paper to remember it. It is one of the simplest and most complex things about the Christian faith. Jesus makes himself clear, his mission, his purpose, and leaves room only for our response.
Jesus said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
Besides this moment being significant because it was the last face-to-face conversation I had with my grandpa, it is significant because it redirected the plans I had for my life (plans to be a successful Public Relations professional). During my time at Ohio University my faith grew like it had never before. I began to see just how personal God is and I began to see how few people believed in the words that Jesus says. As I took a step of faith to share that message with my entire family through a letter, my heart was burdened knowing that outside my family there were millions of other people who didn't know the truth.
Whenever I think back to the message my grandpa asked me to share with our family, I realize that at that moment God was giving me a direct calling for my life as a minister of His gospel (which has led me to being on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ, or "Cru" as we call it at UofA). It is during these times of reflection that I am once again reminded of God's faithfulness in my life and his personal leading.
In November of 2004 our son was born. His name is Logan. Someday I look forward to explaining exactly where his name came from, the legacy left by those before him, and the high calling he too can be a part of no matter what he chooses to do with his life. I pray that our Logan will grasp the importance of what Jesus said.
I am the way
I am the truth
I am the life
No one comes to the Father.....
Except through ME (Jesus)
Sometimes when I look at photos of my kids I like to make up a fake conversation that "happened" (I think it's called pretending). Anyway, with Easter right around the corner it would go like this:
